IMA RADSTER LARGE AND IN CHARGE

He Stared Off Into the Trees for a While. The Chairlift Continued Its Ascent. Then He Said, Kind of to Himself,

I BET POSH SKIS A LOT TOO. I BET SHE WEARS SLIM-FITTING SKI JACKETS WITH FUR-LINED HOODS. POSH WAS NEVER ONE FOR BUSTING STEREOTYPES AT ALL.

On the Chairlift, Ima Radster Discourses on Race, Stereotypes, and Snowsports

WHICH SPICE GIRL DO YOU THINK WOULD BE THE BEST SKIER? OR SNOWBOARDER? SKIER AND/OR SNOWBOARDER?

I THINK MOST PEOPLE THINK IT WOULD BE SPORTY, BECAUSE HER THING WAS TO BE THE ATHLETIC ONE, BUT I ALWAYS THOUGHT SHE SEEMED MORE LIKE THE KIND OF GIRL WHO'D PLAY A LITTLE FOOTIE WITH THE LADS. THE TRACK SUIT AND ALL. I DON'T SEE HER AS A SNOW-SPORTS PERSON.

I BET IT WAS SCARY. WHICH WOULD SURPRISE A LOT OF PEOPLE, BECAUSE SHE'S BLACK, AND MOST PEOPLE THINK OF SKIING AS A WHITE-PERSON THING. BECAUSE THEY'RE RACIST.

I USED TO WONDER IF SHE WAS SCARY SPICE BECAUSE SHE'S BLACK, AND WHITE PEOPLE FIND BLACK PEOPLE SCARY. BUT NOW I THINK IT'S BECAUSE SHE BUSTED STEREOTYPES, AND ALL PEOPLE FIND PEOPLE WHO DEFY STEREOTYPES KIND OF SCARY. SHE WAS ALL ABOUT BUSTING STEREOTYPES

I BET SHE WAS A SNOWBOARDER, THOUGH. BECAUSE SKIERS FIND SNOWBOARDERS SCARY. THAT'S A STEREOTYPE THAT SHE'D EMBRACE.

Sometimes Ima Radster Doesn’t Actually Get It

OH I GET IT. THIS ONE TIME I ASKED THIS SMOKIN' HOT GIRL AT THE BAR FOR HER NUMBER AND SHE WROTE IT ON A PIECE OF PAPER AND FOLDED IT AND HANDED IT TO ME AND WHEN I GOT HOME AND LOOKED AT IT IT WAS BLANK. THE PAPER I MEAN. GOTTA BE THE SNEAKY HAND OF A TRICKSTER GOD, RIGHT?

Ima Radster’s Annoyingly Prophetic Discourse on My Road Trip-Related Decision Making

HEY MAN ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO GET THE LARGE COFFEE, I KNOW YOU HAVEN'T REALLY SLEPT AND ALL BUT IT'S A LONG DRIVE AND YOU HATE TO STOP. HEY REMEMBER THAT TIME YOU GOT THE COFFEE AND THEN INSISTED YOU COULD MAKE IT TO WHATEVER THAT TOWN WAS FOR GAS SO YOU BLEW BY THE REST STOP BUT THEN LIKE FIVE MINUTES LATER YOU HAD TO PEE SO BAD YOU PRACTICALLY SWERVED OFF THE HIGHWAY AND THEN AT THE GAS STATION THERE WAS SOMEONE IN THE MEN'S ROOM AND IN THE WOMEN'S ROOM TOO, REMEMBER HOW YOU WHIMPERED WHEN YOU TRIED THE DOOR, AND YOU RAN OUTSIDE TO PEE BEHIND THE BUILDING BUT YOU DIDN'T GET YOUR PANTS DOWN IN TIME SO YOU PISSED YOURSELF? THAT WAS PRETTY FUNNY, IT'S A GOOD THING YOU HAD THAT OTHER PAIR OF PANTS.

In Which Ima Radster Discourses on the Phenomenon That Was the Spice Girls

HEY GUYS WHICH WAS YOUR FAVORITE SPICE GIRL? I REALLY LIKED GINGER AND I WAS REALLY SAD WHEN SHE LEFT BUT I ENDED UP LIKING THE GIRL THEY GOT TO REPLACE HER, TOO.